It's been a while . . .

It's been a few yeaers since I've been on here and honestly I forgot all about it. I had a friend recently tell me I needed to start a blog about my love life because I have been through so much stuff. I went back and read old posts and thought, "Damn, Luigi is a dick and these other dudes really did get to me." I was so young compared to now, and the craziest thing is that my love life just got more interesting through the years. I'll go ahead and update you on the past 2 years. . . 

 

Wayne- Two years ago he pissed me off and I completly stopped talking to him. In all honesty it wasn't even that hard to do. After hearing about some heartbreak he went through I reached out to make sure he knew he was a good person. We became friends once again and oddly enough the sexual tension was still there. Now Luigi really mentally messed me up (and I'll continue on about him later), because of this I was comfortable with bootycalls. I propsed to Wayne that we could do this and it seemed okay, as long as he never got feelings. I told him I had no time for a relationship and we would not be getting together at all. Through this time it was okay, my feelings for him were gone but I hung out with him because it was convientent and he was fun to do things with. Then it started to become a relationship when I told him not to think this wayt. He decided to go out for New Years and that's when all his true feelings came out. He got drunk and expressed to me that I treated him like crap and just use him. He also expressed that he was bisexual and began crying. I will tell you right now I was LIVID- LIVID at the fact that I was straight up on what we were. LIVID because I never said I missed him or anything else for him to believe in a future. So I eased off and thought to myself, "He thinks I'm a bad person when I just want to be on my own and cannot end up with him." As of today we occasionally talk but I try to stay away. 

 

Ray- Oh Ray, I haven't talked to him in about 3 years. But he actually decided to contact me last week saying we should go on a date and we owe it to ourselves. I told him we could go out as friends but nothing more and he was hurt. Out of all the guys he was the only one that I hurt and I felt so bad for it. I don't want anything with this guy and I told him he shouldn't want something for me either, we've grown too much to give it a try. 

 

Heath- Yup. . . A new one, and I thought he was THE ONE. He swept me off of my feet, made me feel like I was worth something. He showed me everything that I ever wanted in life and for the first time I thought I was going to be happy. I had this amazing guy by my side and we loved each other fully. . . so I thought. He has many mental issues and that got in our way, it wasn't that fact that I wanted to help him 100%, it was the fact that he didn't want help. I thought he was the most amazing guy in the world, and to this day I still believe we were soul mates but I learned that I have to put myself and my feelings before any guy. 

 

Luigi- This guy. I swear he was the worst to me, yet taught me so much and I became the woman I am today because of him. I met Heath right after I officially ended things with Luigi and Heath made me realize I desereved better than him. Out of all these guys though, Luigi is my words of wisdom and because he knows me best I still talk with him occassionally. He has a girlfriend now and I am so happy for him. He seems to really be having a great relationship and finally grown up. I have no harsh feelings towards him and I look back and think "Damn I'm happy I've moved on from him." 

 

Ryan- Now Ryan and I met at work. I have never dated a coworker and I guess I broke that rule now. I met him last year and was always drawn to him. He's tall and so sweet, just like a gentle giant. He's currently in my office and we talk. After all the guys that have hurt me I have built the biggest, toughest walls. I haven't let anyone in since Heath, which was 2 years ago. I believe it is because I see he is a good person, honest, and sees me everyday in my element. We've been hanging out and I have to say I think about him a lot. We spend time together talking about life and enjoying each other's company. I have to say, I think he's something special but I'm keeping it from going too fast. We'll see in time if this leads to something. . . and honestly I hope it does :)

 

So the cath up has been real and I'll be on here for sure. I won't be too far away and will not wait another 3 years to post.       

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