How. . .

I've been laying in bed and thinking for the past couple days about Heath. I have been battling with myself to understand why the hell I have so many walls up and not let anyone in. How did I get to this point that I just date and not care whatsoever...

It's been a while . . .

It's been a few yeaers since I've been on here and honestly I forgot all about it. I had a friend recently tell me I needed to start a blog about my love life because I have been through so much stuff. I went back and read old posts and thought,...

Damn Luigi . . .

Its been so long since I've been on here. I went back and read all my posts about Luigi. I don't get emotional reading it but I do remember it like yesterday. Is it weird that I don't have the infatuation for him anymore? Has Peach officially moved...

One year

Everyone thinks "man my life has changed in a year"! Today I'm doing the same. Last year was the first day Luigi and me hung out and that's when I knew he liked him just as much as I liked him. That night was a dream, we hung out, he asked for my...

Luigi surprised Peach big time!

I've been working my new job along with my other one at the same time. It's tough but I have to be an adult. Luigi and I have only been talking for 2 months and we're always so busy to hang out. It's mostly me though, my 8-5 job is just too much as...

Cracked

I've cracked. I just want time by myself. My body hurts and I'm tired and emotionally drained. All I want to do if cry because I'm getting shit from every angle. I'm either not available to be there for a friend, don't make time for people, or I'm not...

How did I become this?

How did I become like this? How did I turn into the girl that dreams of you? How do I wake up seeing your face knowing its never going to be the same? How do I continue my days when everything makes me think of you?  Why can't I just move...

What I'm Left With

All I can say is I hate you. I hate your smile. I hate your hair. I hate when you call me 'Cute'.   All I feel is hurt. I hurt when I think of your smile when we laughed. I hurt when I remember playing with your hair. I hurt...

How do you explain that everyone's different?

  I'm a nanny and last week one of the little girls I take care of commented on my weight. Now I'm not the skinniest chick in the room but I'm not the biggest either. Out of shock I just told her that what she said was mean and shut her out. I wanted...

Flaws , this is music and love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzRBoZb3GKw   This song is raw and beautiful. It may be called flaws but there are none in this video. I sit here thinking about the guy who introduced it to me and it is just like our relationship. Just like our...

Luigi and Peach

People have been talking and I'm getting paranoid. For months I've been wanting to know but I'm too scared to ask. Finally last night I say we need to talk. He seemed fine but later I found out he was freaking out. He thought we had a scare, even...

I miss . . . all of you

 Looking back at all my relationships I've had in the past I realize that I miss a few of them. The feelings that wash over me can be so strong one day, yet on others I can live without. Each one of these guys took a small piece of my heart with them,...

My house isn't my home.

Today I truly didn't feel like my house is my home. For some reason i feel like I have to tip toe around this place. I can't be free, I'm always in my room and I only go out to shower or leave. I hate this feeling and honestly I don't understand why...

It's Happening Again

it's starting again. my feelings of wanting that someone special is hitting me again. i just want that companion where i can feel complete. i don't know how people can just have "fun" for years on end. i want something more, but honestly i don't think...

Did I open a door that's beneficial or bootycall-ish?

I met a guy, it always starts like this. My story is different, that's what everyone says. I can see us happily ever after, shut the F up. I met a guy that has interested me from the start. He's been suave, collected, and saying all the right...

And that's the reason. . .

There are still feelings but we have to work on ourselves. I finally understand it. I get doubts but I found out it was because I'm not as experienced with heartbreak as him. His heart has been broken many times and mine has been once- but not by...

Here at the wrong time?

Sometimes I wonder if I was born at the wrong time. Or even in the wrong place such as should I have been born on th east coast instead of the west? Another would be, should I have been born in the 30s so I could enjoy the 40s young and with style and...

Intuition or just have the same emotions?

What the heck is going on? Ever since the beginning I've had similar feelings at the same time without really understanding. Now I know that I was confused yesterday but now I'm more confused then ever on another level. So I thought I was feeling crap...

what's going on?

why do people fall for each other and then go, "oh wait. . . i don't know anymore." it could be so frustrating. it's all so confusing to me, "i'm falling for you- now i'm not". "i don't know why things like this is happening" seriously fucker! i'm...

Inner demons

Why do people feel so horrible when ther really isn't a reason for it. Today I felt like such a worthless person and I don't know why. I tried various ways to try to get better and the only lasting relief I got was hanging with my friend Ganay. But as...

why i'm here

this blog is for me to say what i what, whenever. i don't want to deal with stupid people and what they will think. i will never say my name or the names of people i will say reference to

my harsh realization

Life's great but seriously these stupid-ass speed bumps kill me! today i realized i'm that 10% of women that will end up alone. i'm 19 and already starting my fashion career. don't get me wrong, its fantastic, but love has never been on my side. i...